She is a joy - absolutely completely.
But how do I help her make education choices?
She is in the 10th grade this year - public exams (boards - as we call them in India) and needs to actually choose her stream NOW. what she decides now will be what she is going to be 30 years form now.
As a first step, she knows what she DOES NOT want to do - no commerce, no core liberal arts.
That leaves the Sciences - beyond that - is anyone's guess.
more later.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Sunday, April 8, 2007
The sari v/s churidar debate
well, I have just got to jump in!!
Between clients at work and exams for kids at home, Shashi Tharoor's column did not even register a blip on my radar.
This Sunday morning I have been catching up on my reading, this column and otherwise and the range of verbiage is mind boggling.
As one of thounsands of women who work both in and outside the house, i have no time to wear the sari for my 7 am exit from home, children in tow and two bags. Add the 1 foot high medians that have to be jumped over, the running for the bus (a company bus, thank god - so a seat is assured and i don't have to worry about eve-teasing) - and the sari is impractical to say the least. But when we go for celebrations, dinners, lunches, birthdays, parties I do reach out for my vast collection from every state in India (as I fondly refer to my collection).
At work, I reserve the sari for Ethnic day celebrations - which is a quaint practice in Indian companies!! More often than not, 9 out of 10 women are ensconsed in the ladies room, wearing the sari because they could not or did not wear it at home.
Do i feel guilty about favoring the churidar or western business over the sari? No.
I am not the keeper of my culture but I do my bit. With two daughters to raise (don't know what it is to have boys) , I can only give them values and i have realized that their values are going to be different from mine, as mine are different from my mom's.
Deep down I know that these values have a shared history but are shaped by specific circumstances and specific experiences. How much of me people might see in my child hopefully is not based on what she wears and what she eats but in her ability to be lady, confident in her own skin and compassionate with others.
Back to the sari debate - I wonder how my daughters will view the sari 10 years from now? Is it going to disappear? or is it something she is going to lovingly pull out of her closet for a whiff of cherished memories?
Does Mr. Tharoor have a thought on that??
Mr. Tharoor has already replied to the multitude of feedbacks he has received - and therein lies at least one answer to his posing - if his Danish boss could disparage Mr. Tharoor's elegant cream kurta, how many of us have to deal with CXO's and their hesitancies in coping with an increasingly globalized world? Not everyone is embracing the "flat world" - there is far more kicking and screaming than meets the eye.
Mr Tharoor, with your latest you gave with one hand and took away with the other : the last para bears testimony to why hundreds of women rose up with their keyboard - " In that "to begin with" lies he hope that my column will not have been entirely in vain".
Between clients at work and exams for kids at home, Shashi Tharoor's column did not even register a blip on my radar.
This Sunday morning I have been catching up on my reading, this column and otherwise and the range of verbiage is mind boggling.
As one of thounsands of women who work both in and outside the house, i have no time to wear the sari for my 7 am exit from home, children in tow and two bags. Add the 1 foot high medians that have to be jumped over, the running for the bus (a company bus, thank god - so a seat is assured and i don't have to worry about eve-teasing) - and the sari is impractical to say the least. But when we go for celebrations, dinners, lunches, birthdays, parties I do reach out for my vast collection from every state in India (as I fondly refer to my collection).
At work, I reserve the sari for Ethnic day celebrations - which is a quaint practice in Indian companies!! More often than not, 9 out of 10 women are ensconsed in the ladies room, wearing the sari because they could not or did not wear it at home.
Do i feel guilty about favoring the churidar or western business over the sari? No.
I am not the keeper of my culture but I do my bit. With two daughters to raise (don't know what it is to have boys) , I can only give them values and i have realized that their values are going to be different from mine, as mine are different from my mom's.
Deep down I know that these values have a shared history but are shaped by specific circumstances and specific experiences. How much of me people might see in my child hopefully is not based on what she wears and what she eats but in her ability to be lady, confident in her own skin and compassionate with others.
Back to the sari debate - I wonder how my daughters will view the sari 10 years from now? Is it going to disappear? or is it something she is going to lovingly pull out of her closet for a whiff of cherished memories?
Does Mr. Tharoor have a thought on that??
Mr. Tharoor has already replied to the multitude of feedbacks he has received - and therein lies at least one answer to his posing - if his Danish boss could disparage Mr. Tharoor's elegant cream kurta, how many of us have to deal with CXO's and their hesitancies in coping with an increasingly globalized world? Not everyone is embracing the "flat world" - there is far more kicking and screaming than meets the eye.
Mr Tharoor, with your latest you gave with one hand and took away with the other : the last para bears testimony to why hundreds of women rose up with their keyboard - " In that "to begin with" lies he hope that my column will not have been entirely in vain".
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Uncharted Territory!!
I have come back to write after much time has passed. Somewhere between, coming back to India and trying to settle back in a very changed country, my first born is a teenager!! The birthday was celebrated with the usual fanfare but realizing that this WAS a milestone for all of us a family. I was determined to approach this with my usual sense of upbeat-ness and coast along with a few bumps along the way.
Boy, was I wrong!! my teen is now 13 and a half and within six months i have been through the entire gamut of emotions - sad, confused, upset, angry, helpless, happy (yes, that too!!). Are we talking about the teen or myself here :)
I am convinced that things are going to get a lot more choppy and roller-coaster like before there is a semblance of calm. I say semblance because I believe that at a basic level, children are a work in progress. You will never know how they have turned out until some years later and even then you will always want to advice them and save them from the pitfalls that you might think you know better. That is a frightening thought for any parent, anywhere. In today's world, everything is up for grabs. As a parent, I am in personally uncharted territory - I will learn as I go along and hopefully somewhere along the way, I will see my teenager go through the chrysalis to butterfly transformation.
In my mind the problem is aggravated for me by coming away from my friends in Naperville Chicago. Children went to school divided into geographic districts. I was friends with many parents from children in her class both boys and girls and sharing hopes and fears was a phone call away. Here in Bangalore India, children are bused from far off places to their schools. There is no handy PTA to meet other parents. I have not connected with many parents from her friend circle in the brief discussions about pick ups and drop offs for birthdays. Simply, I do not know who they are!!
So - here I am. hopefully other will read this and we will have a discussion of common experiences. Maybe we can support each other in this journey. Do read and post if you find this interesting. I hope to write back often and while I don't expect any "aha" moment, there might be moments of clarity in an otherwise fuzzy times.\
Boy, was I wrong!! my teen is now 13 and a half and within six months i have been through the entire gamut of emotions - sad, confused, upset, angry, helpless, happy (yes, that too!!). Are we talking about the teen or myself here :)
I am convinced that things are going to get a lot more choppy and roller-coaster like before there is a semblance of calm. I say semblance because I believe that at a basic level, children are a work in progress. You will never know how they have turned out until some years later and even then you will always want to advice them and save them from the pitfalls that you might think you know better. That is a frightening thought for any parent, anywhere. In today's world, everything is up for grabs. As a parent, I am in personally uncharted territory - I will learn as I go along and hopefully somewhere along the way, I will see my teenager go through the chrysalis to butterfly transformation.
In my mind the problem is aggravated for me by coming away from my friends in Naperville Chicago. Children went to school divided into geographic districts. I was friends with many parents from children in her class both boys and girls and sharing hopes and fears was a phone call away. Here in Bangalore India, children are bused from far off places to their schools. There is no handy PTA to meet other parents. I have not connected with many parents from her friend circle in the brief discussions about pick ups and drop offs for birthdays. Simply, I do not know who they are!!
So - here I am. hopefully other will read this and we will have a discussion of common experiences. Maybe we can support each other in this journey. Do read and post if you find this interesting. I hope to write back often and while I don't expect any "aha" moment, there might be moments of clarity in an otherwise fuzzy times.\
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)